more and more and more

well, after much thought and panick and prayer
i know what ia m supposed to do.
of course, its nothing even close to what i thought it would be
but its been weighing heavily on me
and i know its what i am supposed to do right now.
i am scared and nervous and so unbelievably excited.
i'll dig deeper into this later.
but this is somethign i knwo that i have to do in order to feel like i can do anything i put my mind to.
it may take a while, but i dont think i can let myself down.
not anymore.
when i say something, whatever it is. i mean it. and i dont let my "right now" thought process get in the way.
so in writing this, i am making it legitamate.
even if you have no idea what i am talking about.
i am holding myself to it.
i'm not one to back out of anything i start.
and thats not something thats going to change.

i am beginning to suprise myself.
actually, God is beginning to suprise me.
more and more and more.
i just have to remember to keep listening.

whew!